MBTA F40PH-2C 1050, I'm not so sure you have that right. Some freight cars have cushion drawbars that allow extra front-to-back motion of the couplers, but the draft gear on passenger cars does pivot side-to-side on curves (otherwise you'd have a serious problem). If you're only talking about the front-to-back motion, though, they it's true that passenger draft gear is fixed in that direction.
Almost all passenger cars have Type H tightlock couplers, which have extra tabs on the side that slide into a pocket on the mating coupler. These help keep the couplers locked tightly together even in the case of a derailment. Some freight cars also have this type of coupler, and there are similar Type F couplers for tank cars, but the average freight car will have a regular Type E coupler with no special locking features.
Remember that slack also varies with train length. If you were running only a 7-car freight train, you wouldn't have to worry too much about the slack either, but if you have a mile of freight cars behind you, then you need to be pretty aware of what's going on throughout the train. Car weight is yet another issue, since for example having several heavy cars on the rear of your train would result in more slack action.
I would not expect that the rubber diaphragms in between cars have any effect on the slack action. The reason they are spring-loaded and compressible is to keep their striker plates pressed together so there's no gap that a person could fall through - they are not actually designed to absorb any loads being transmitted from car to car.